Yes or No?

. . . Just say yes or no. . . James 5:12(TM)

"I'm in over my head, but I feel like I'm not being a good Christian when I say 'No' to any request for help!"

Sound familiar? Many of us were taught that a "good Christian" always says "Yes" when asked to do something worthwhile. Add to that our human need
to be liked which makes it difficult to say "No" because we are afraid people won't like us if we do and it is no wonder so many feel overwhelmed.

The truth is that not learning to say "No" is a good way to end up disliking yourself - as well as the people you are trying to please. The Bible says,
". . . just say yes or no. . ." Either is acceptable, but only when we find the courage to say "No", do we stop lying about our own real needs and
start respecting ourselves. In time, others will too.

As a perennial "Yes" sayer here are some pointers that I find helpful in learning to say "No":

1) Pause and ask God first
Develop a policy of not making commitments without praying about them first. The Bible says, ". . .if you want to know what God wants you to do -
ask Him, and He will gladly tell you." (James 1:5 NLT). Pause and ask God before you respond.

2) Know your limits - and stick to them
If you are already over-committed, don't take on more because you feel pressured, guilty, or indispensable. You will discover, as I have, that you
are only indispensable until you say no - then someone else will step up and do it better than you could have!

3) Go with your gifts
God has given each of us unique abilities and talents. If you have to choose between being on the praise team or being on an outreach team, go where
your talents will best be utilized. Is this easy? No! But unless you learn to do it, you will end up investing too much in what seems important, while neglecting
what God has best equipped you to do.

(c)2006 Timothy L. Hudson, UGA Christian Campus Fellowship