Monday, June 19, 2006

How to Love People You Don't Like

Transcript, Christian Working Woman

Monday, June 19, 2006

Do you have people in your life that you really don't like? If you're human, there are bound to be some of those people around. And it seems to me that we run into these people on our jobs quite often.

Yes, even Christians are allowed to have people in their lives they do not like. I know of no scriptural directive that commands us to like everyone. But I know many verses that tell us to love other people. Here are just two of many:

And this commandment we have from God, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. (1 John 4:21)

Jesus said: "Love your enemies. For if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them." (Luke 6:32 & 35)

It's clear that as Christians we are to love people–all people, yes, even the people we work with. But what about those unlikable people? Since we cannot like them, we usually conclude that we cannot love them either. Don't we have to like people before we can love them? How can we love someone we don't like?

Part of the problem is that we misunderstand the word love. The kind of love that we need in order to love people we don't like is agape love, God's kind of love. Now, agape love is not a feeling. Though we may experience nice feelings as a result of agape love, it does not depend on how we feel or how others feel about us. We can express agape love whether the feelings are present or absent, whether they are good or bad. This kind of love is not a feeling.

Agape love is an action. The Bible tells us that we know that God loves us because He sent His Son into the world to redeem us. We know that Jesus loves us because He gave His life. The Bible says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man give his life for a friend." And God says that He will know that we love Him if we keep His commandments. God's kind of love is an action, not a feeling.

Now, that really is good news, because it tells me that I can love people toward whom I do not necessarily have good feelings. I can love people toward whom I have no feelings at all. Think: Who are the people you will be dealing with today or tomorrow that you really don't like? Will you ask God to help you understand how to love them, even though you don't like them?

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