Relationships

Christian Working Woman Transcript

Thursday, June 19, 2008 - Dealing With Broken Relationships

Have you ever gone to someone for the purpose of being reconciled, hat in hand, asking forgiveness, and trying to restore the relationship, only to be rebuffed? Jesus commanded us to seek to be reconciled to anyone who has something against us, even if it is not our fault.

But the facts are, you and I cannot control the other person. All we can do is obey the Lord, do what we’re supposed to do, and let God take care of the outcome. In Romans 12:18 we read:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
We must not ignore the imperative of this verse which says: . . . as far as it depends on you. . If you have a broken relationship, make certain that you have done and are doing everything you can to mend it. Don’t let yourself off the hook easily. Go the extra mile, humble yourself, initiate the reconciliation, be willing to swallow your pride. . . whatever it takes for true reconciliation.

However, please keep in mind that being reconciled does not include being someone’s “doormat,” enduring abusive treatment of any kind, compromising your Christian principles of integrity or lowering your standards of behavior. So, we’re not talking about peace at any price. But we should never be the person who is holding up the reconciliation.

Many of us harbor hurt feelings far too long and delay a reconciliation because we don’t want to humble ourselves. If you’re holding up a reconciliation with someone for anything but a good biblical reason, then you’re at fault, regardless of the circumstances.

Of course, there are times where a relationship has been damaged so much that full restoration is not possible. But to the extent that it can be restored, it should be restored.

For those who’ve done all you can to be reconciled and the other person refuses, don’t live in false guilt about that relationship. Remember, the principle is, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. Many things are out of your control, and that is what you have to accept and trust to God’s care.