Hurt Feelings

Christian Working Woman Transcript

Friday, January 26, 2007 - You Hurt My Feelings

What does one do when your feelings have been hurt and you can’t put it out of your mind? Here’s my suggestion.

1. Bring it into the open. If you feel you have truly been offended, write out how you were hurt, and put it away for two days. Then read it again, and if you are still truly offended, determine how you will confront that person in a biblical, loving way. Chances are good that after two days you’ll tear up the paper and say to yourself that it’s really not that big a deal.

No good can be gained by stuffing our feelings and pretending all is well while we’re seething on the inside. So if something or someone has truly hurt your feelings, then you need to deal with it. This suggestion of writing it out and saving it for two days is a very smart one. First of all, it means you will not react out of an emotional response, but you’ll have time to pray about it and get a good perspective on it.

Secondly, the process of writing it out can help you determine whether you’ve over-reacted or not. Make yourself write what actually happened, not what you perceived. When you start to see it in writing, it will either confirm your feelings that a wrong has been done to you, or you will realize that it’s not such a big deal after all.

Then after two days if you are still convinced this was an intended or offensive act that needs to be addressed, you are far better able to make a good decision about how you will address it. The outcome is much more likely to be beneficial and not make matters worse.

Keep in mind the biblical principle that when you have something against someone you go to that person personally and try to resolve the matter with them one-on-one. Avoid the tendency to tell others about your hurt feelings. Keep it quiet and pray much, then confront in love and see if the issue can be resolved in a positive manner.

When we can make progress in this area of controlling our hurt feelings, we are becoming more and more conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. It will take God’s power to change these long-ingrained habits of hurt feelings, but if we are born from above, we have the power of God’s Spirit to enable us to do this.

Then you can turn hurt feelings into an opportunity to pray for that person, reach out to that person, and let God’s love flow through you. This can be one of the best gifts you’ll ever give yourself, as you are set free from that overly-sensitive reaction and all those hurt feelings.