Without Reservation or Hesitation

Scotty Smith:  A Prayer for Loving Jesus as He Desires to Be Loved

The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem, Thus says the Lord, ‘I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.’” Jer. 2:1-2

Lord Jesus, that you are jealous for our love is as humbling as it is astonishing. What greater compliment could you possibly pay us? To know you actually miss our affection both thrills and convicts me. That you ever made me a part of your bride in the first place continues to move me to cry out, “I believe—help my unbelief!”

When I slow down enough to remember; when I allow myself enough quiet to reflect; when I rid myself of defensiveness and excuse making, of course I have to agree with you. There was a time, early in your relationship with me in the gospel, when I loved you with the passion, delight, and devotion of a young bride. Without reservation or hesitation, wherever you led me, even through the desert and barren places, I went with joy, because you were my oasis, nourishment, and utter satisfaction.

But in time, I began to depend on other things and other people to supplement the joy of belonging to you. You weren’t quite enough for my foolish, demanding, longing heart. I thought my earthly spouse, the approval of people, more stuff, or ministry success were also necessary to fill me up. And though it grieves me to say it, these “good-things-turned-idols” still wage war for the primary affection of my heart, sometimes with clear success.

Jesus, I confess and repent. It would be one thing if you were a harsh, disengaged, demanding bridegroom. But you love us as no one else could ever love us. You lived and died to make us your beloved bride forever. You have robed us in the bridal gown of your own righteousness. You care for our hearts and carry our burdens. You never stop praying for us and advocating for us before our Father. You enjoy us, delight in us, and rejoice over us with loud singing.

Indeed, Lord Jesus, restore to me the joy of your salvation, and the love I had for you at first. I have no power to change me, but you have all power. I love you now only because your first loved me. I would love you more in light of the day I will love you fully. So very Amen I pray, in your all-sufficient name.