“The greatest enemy of the spiritual life is self-rejection BECAUSE it contradicts the Voice that calls you Beloved.” –Henri Nouwin
I've referred to this Nouwin quote before. It's poignant to me again today as I contemplate the opposite manifestations of a single theological problem. The manifestations are self-delusion and self-condemnation. The first characterizes us when we excuse our sin or talk ourselves out of it. Our view of ourselves and our God can't handle an honest assessment of our problems. We “can't handle the truth,” as Jack Nicholson famously says in A Few Good Men. So we blame shift and manipulate others' perception of ourselves. We manipulate our own personal perception of ourself as well. Then the day comes when we can no longer escape it. Maybe we took our anger out on our kid one time too many, and he gives us the finger as he walks out the door. Or we lost our job because our addiction to pain killers resulted in an undeniable lack in judgement. Or our husband walks out the door because we finally pushed him too far.
Those moments, when we wake up to our sin and its consequences in the lives of the ones we love, can be devastating. I have at times kicked myself over and over again at the realization of my sin and mistakes. It's self-flaggelation. I hate myself, but punishing myself brings NO relief. And it's just as bad for those around me as self-delusion. Self-delusion and self-condemnation are two sides of the same coin. Either way, I can't handle the truth, or what I believe is the truth about myself. Either way, those around me are affected by my sin and unbelief.
I'm convinced that our identity in Christ is the crux of our problems. We are not confident in what God has said over us, so we can't handle real self-examination. I have to be right, or good, or helpful. **I** do, because apart from me giving myself my identity, nobody's going to do it for me. Oh, how false and unhelpful! One of my favorite chapters in Scripture that clears it all up for me is Romans 8.
It starts off with a bang. “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). None. At all.Condemn – to express an unfavorable or adverse judgment on; indicate strong disapproval of; censure. (dictionary.com)
God does not disapprove of me. He doesn't censure me or express unfavorable opinions of me. Why? Because He laid that all on Christ. And He in turn laid all of Christ on me. He sees me wearing Christ's righteousness, and Christ stands before Him daily as my advocate, showing His wounds that give me this privilege. And it is THIS privilege that allows me to face my sin and deal with it.
Do you have sin you need to face? I encourage you to read through Romans 8. First face the truth of all God says over you in Christ. I love the section headings of the chapter in the ESV– heirs with Christ, future glory, and everlasting love. Then after meditating on it and owning first the truth of God's love for you and His good plan for you through Christ, own your sin. You did it. It hurt others. Repent. Ask forgiveness of those you wounded. And repeat as necessary. Your sin doesn't define you. Christ defines you. And in Him, you can face your sin without either self-delusion or self-condemnation.
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Through the night my soul longs for you. Deep from within me my spirit reach out to you. Isaiah 26 (The Message)
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Beloved
Practical Theology for Women post: Self-delusion Verses Self-condemnation
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