Fatherly Affection

Scotty Smith: A Prayer About Ordained Days and God Thoughts

     All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:16-18

     Heavenly Father, it’s my birthday, and the number just keeps getting bigger. I’m no longer 60, I’m officially now in my 60’s. There was a day when that sounded like the “ancient of days.” Honestly, I don’t feel any different than when I was 41.
     As “vast” and “great” as the sum of my years seems to me today, vaster and greater are my thoughts of you. The number of my years is calculated merely in terms of several decades, but if I tried to “do the math” concerning your glory and grace, I’d have to count every grain of sand on every beach that has ever existed. With David I can honestly say, “How precious to me are your thoughts.”
     Father, keep on rescuing me from all wrong thinking about you. Keep showing me how little I really see and understand about the greatness of your love for us in Jesus. That won’t embarrass me, it will truly thrill me. May the gospel keep on getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
     It’s a source of incredible peace and freedom to know that you’ve ordained all of my days for me. That doesn’t feel like unfair fatalism, but rather, Fatherly affection. I’ll not live one day more or one day less than you decree, by your sovereign purposes and eternal pleasure. I’ve already outlived my mom by 49 years and my dad outlived me by 31.
     There’s a part of me that would like to turn the clock back for a possible “do-over,” especially for certain stretches of my life. But then again… not really. Your name is Redeemer and you’re the God restores years eaten away by locusts. I choose to rest in your love rather than stew in my regrets. I have great hope in your commitment to make all things new.
     All I ask is that each additional day, week, month or year you appoint for me in this world… that each will be filled with a greater grasp of the only love which will never let go of me. By your Spirit, Father, continue to reveal to me how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ—the only love that surpasses knowledge (Eph. 3:18-19). Everything else will take care of itself. So very Amen, I pray, in Jesus’ matchless and merciful name.