Saying No

Christian Working Woman Transcript

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 - Saying No Without Guilt

Why would I choose such a topic about learning to say “no”? Well, because many of us have a lot of trouble knowing how and when to set boundaries, and we end up trying to be super-people and find ourselves exhausted, discouraged, depressed and ready to quit!

Ephesians 2:10 says we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God ordained in advance for us to do. We are here to work; we are created to bring glory to God through completing the good works He has planned for us to do. So, laziness or indifference is never acceptable for a disciple of Jesus Christ. But by the same token, we are in human bodies which have limitations and when we start trying to do things that are not on God’s to-do list for us, that’s when we are in trouble.

In a very helpful booklet entitled “Too Busy? Saying No Without Guilt,” Alice Fryling makes some important observations: “Jesus does not intend for us to carry the heavy burden of ill-fitting good works. If we were to join Him at the dinner table, where He did much of His teaching during His life on earth, He might remind us that we do not need to do everything, that burnout is not His idea of obedience and that by God’s grace even a little bit goes a long way.”

I like her term “ill-fitting good works.” I find that I am often self-deceived into taking on too much because what I’m taking on is good. Someone needs to do it; it is not a trivial pursuit. But is it an “ill-fitting good work,” meaning it doesn’t fit me? Ms. Fryling goes on to say, “In fact, as we take on Jesus’ yoke, we find that the work we are yoked to do has been custom-made for us.” When I am doing those good works, I may get tired, but I won’t be overwhelmed. Jesus does not call me to do more than He will equip me to do under an easy yoke. When my “doing” gets to the stage of being a burden, no matter how good it may be, then I have to stop and ask, “Where and when should I say ‘no’?”

I would encourage you to think about areas in your life where you have not yet learned to say “no.” Perhaps it is on your job. Certainly we have obligations to our employers and we definitely want to work with excellence and diligence, but have you carried that too far so that now your job is a heavy yoke around your neck? Or maybe it’s with your family, where you think you have to say yes to every request because it’s family! If you’ve allowed yourself to come under a heavy yoke, I urge you to begin the process of saying “no” where you need to.