Hurt Feelings

Christian Working Woman Transcript

Friday, September 14, 2007 - Fran & Jesus on the Job – Hurt Feelings


When someone hurts your feelings and accuses you of things of which you know you're not guilty, what do you do? Hurt feelings are difficult to deal with. Often we don't handle them well.

Fran's feelings have been hurt badly by someone she thought was a friend–Deborah. Fran had befriended Deborah, called her frequently, done a few things with her, but all of a sudden Deborah unloaded on her with anger and accusations of selfishness and lack of caring on Fran's part toward Deborah.

The verse which Jesus has emphasized to Fran through all of this has been Romans 15:1: We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Fran has been meditating on that verse all week. On this Friday morning, in her time alone with Jesus, she says, "This is not the easiest verse to apply to my life, Lord. I still struggle with what Deborah said to me last night. You know it wasn't true."

"I know that you never intended to give her the impression that you were too busy for her, and I know that you went out of your way for her. But," Jesus says, "you must remember that she has had a lot of time to think about some little things that happened, and the more she has thought about them, the bigger they have become in her mind until she is convinced that you have not been a good friend to her."

"Lord, do I give the impression that I think I'm more important...." Fran considers Deborah's accusations. "Oh, my, I hope not, but I bet I do sometimes. Oh, Lord, please forgive me for thinking that I'm more important than someone else. I really am sorry."

"It's a good lesson to learn from all this, Fran," Jesus says with great comfort in His voice. "So learn it and then move on. Don't wallow in false guilt. The ball is now in Deborah's court."

"But what if she just continues to be cold and unfriendly to me? What am I supposed to do?" Fran asks.

"Wait," Jesus says.

"Several times I've asked her to take on a job at church and she always turns them down. I think if she got busy doing something positive, she wouldn't feel so sorry for herself," Fran says.

"You're right about that Fran," Jesus says; "it's often true that idle minds create a great many misunderstandings and hurt feelings. So, it's time to fill your mind with the Word of God so that doesn't happen to you."

And with that Fran gets into her Bible reading for the day.

If you've ever had your feelings hurt, you can understand how Fran feels. But take a step back, pray about it, ask God to teach you what you need to learn, and then stop focusing on the bad reports, but as Philippians 4:8 says, think about the lovely things–the good reports.