Hurt Feelings

Christian Working Woman Transcript

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - Fran & Jesus on the Job – Hurt Feelings


When someone hurts my feelings, my natural response is to have a pity party and then to get even. I think that's probably true for most of us. However, as believers, that is not a Spirit-controlled response, and so we must learn how to handle hurt feelings. Fran is learning that painful lesson.

It's Monday morning, and her friend Deborah said some hurtful and unfair things to Fran on the phone yesterday, after treating her very coldly at church. She talks with Jesus about the situation. "Lord, what should I do? I honestly don't feel I have anything to apologize for to Deborah; it's her perception that has created this problem. Besides, if she had something against me, the Bible says she should have come to me and told me in love, not in the sarcastic way she dumped it on me."

"That's absolutely true, Fran," Jesus agrees, "but just because she didn't behave biblically is no excuse for you to do the same."

"Yes, you're right, Lord, but it's so hard to swallow your pride and act like you're wrong when you know you're not," Fran says.

"I'm not asking you to apologize for something you didn't do, but I am asking you who are strong to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please yourself," Jesus again reminds her of the verse from Romans 15:1.

"Okay, what should I do? Call her?" Fran asks.

"Why not find a really nice card and send that first. Then follow-up with a phone call," Jesus suggests.

At lunch Fran writes a note on a card: Deborah, I'm so sorry something has come between us and I want you to know I'm willing to do whatever I can to restore our relationship. I hope you'll give me an opportunity; I'll call soon. Love, Fran.

She mails the card, and then all week long she prays for Deborah and for their relationship. She prays that God will help her see Deborah as He sees her and that God will give her compassion and true love for Deborah. On Thursday evening she gives Deborah a call.

"Hi, Deborah," Fran begins, and they have a lengthy conversation. Fran mostly listens as Deborah dumps some pretty difficult things on Fran, accusing her of not ever being available when Deborah needs a friend, and thinking that her life is more important that Deborah's. Fran says she is sorry for all the misunderstanding, and invites her home after church Sunday. Deborah says she can't this Sunday, but maybe another time.

Fran hangs up the phone, and says, "Lord, I don't feel as though there was any real closure. Deborah still believes I'm to blame for our relationship problems, and she wouldn't accept my invitation."

"You're not responsible for her reaction, just yours. This is not the end of the story, Fran; entrust it into my hands, and keep praying about Deborah. Right now, do nothing," Jesus says.

"But surely I have to do something..." Fran insists."

No, not now," and with that, Fran drops the subject.