I believe that much of the dissatisfaction we experience in marriage
comes from expecting too much from it. I have a rather outdated computer—a 486— so I know there are some things I simply can't do with it; there's just not enough memory or processing power to run certain programs or combine certain tasks. It's not that I have a bad computer, it's just that I can't reasonably expect more from it than it has the power to give. In the same way, some of us ask too much of marriage. We want to get the largest portion of our life's fulfillment from our relationship with our spouse. That's asking too much. Yes, without a doubt, there should be moments of happiness, meaning, and a general sense of fulfillment. But my wife can't be God, and I was created with a spirit that craves God. Anything less than God, and I'll feel an ache.
Gary Thomas
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