Criticism

Christian Working Woman Transcript

Thursday, December 06, 2007 - Criticism: Giving It and Receiving It

Have you ever asked someone to give you an honest criticism? A very positive action on your part is to solicit criticism when appropriate. Ask for it, if you please. A sign of maturity is recognizing you don't know it all and you’re open to learn more and to change, and you want to improve. Have you ever asked your boss for some honest feedback? Have you ever said, “I realize I need to improve in this area. Can you give me some good pointers on how to do that?”

Soliciting appropriate criticism says a lot about you, and the response you receive is generally given in a positive way, much more palatable than unsolicited criticism. Instead of a criticism, it becomes a “critique.” There’s a perceived difference between a criticism and a critique. Criticisms have the feeling of finding fault, pointing fingers, condemnation. Critiques have a much more positive feeling; they are like a review or analysis for the purpose of helping.

I encourage you, when appropriate, to ask your boss for a critique of your work. Ask your mate for a critique of your relationship. Ask your children for a critique of your parenting skills! That may appear a little scary, but it could produce some very encouraging and enlightening conversations.

Remember that some people just don't know how to give criticism well. They may be well-intentioned, but the form it comes in can be difficult to handle. Don't let that keep you from accepting valid criticism. Separate the form from the content. Look behind poor delivery for good motives, and you may discover some very meaningful information to help you.

Proverbs 19:20 says, Listen to advice and accept instructions, and in the end you will be wise. We are the winners when we learn to solicit and accept the right kind of criticism, while at the same time refusing to dwell on the unfair and condemning ones.